Which team is your "girlfriend"?

My girlfriend and I peaked 7 or 8 years ago when she was hot and confident. Now she's a neurotic people pleaser on the wrong antidepressant. All her clothes are too small, she has stress breath, and tries to hide a sore on the edge of her lip with too much makeup.
I hope she finds the right therapist and a new love interest to stalk so I can move on

 

The Carolina Panthers and I peaked 7 or 8 years ago when they were physical and competitive. Now they're owned by a narcissist asshole with an annoying trophy wife. All their uniforms combinations are ugly, they have field turf that injures all of their players, and they try to hide a limited quarterback with too much short passing.
I hope they find the right coach and a new city to play in so I can move on.