Transformers - the movie

That's because long dark haired leggy girls with bright blue eyes have never really been your type.

 

homo

 

I'd so beat the damn wheels off dat.

 

That pic isn't all that great. Now, the shot of her in the movie bending over the Camaro, well if you don't like that then.....

 

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I watched it on HD DVD last night - it's even more of a Michael Bay crapfest than I remembered. Just downright awful. My wife walked in on one scene and asked if I was watching Armageddon. I said, "yeah".

The sequel could be a really great summer flick with another director. Almost anyone else will do.

 

HH, what is it about this particular director that you don't like? I guess I just enjoyed the movie but I usually don't get too caught up in the artsy/feely stuff.

 

Can someone please tell me what "Michael Bay bullshit" is?

Anyway, the first hour was OK, but they made it too damn long. And yeah, the chick was definitely smoking.

 

Bay has an exceptionally shallow directing style where he roughly cuts (more like jerks) from one cliche slow-mo panaroma shot to an over-the-top-special-fx action scene and then back again. Everything he does - viewpoint/angles, lighting, framing, pace, etc. is custom cliche for a cheesy armed forces commercial. He never lets his actors or the material lead, and oh yeah, don't forget the explosions. OMG he has to blow up half of creation to make a "real" movie. I swear the guy is Beavis chanting "yeah yeah...FIRE! FIRE!!". Someone in the business/critic could use all the right terminology for what I'm describing, but basicly, it's shallow, contrived crap. It's just one super-slicked shot after the next, with no engaging flow (story, emotional, geographical, etc) whatsoever.

South Park did a fucking hilarious bit on him in the "Imagination land" episode trilogy, where they invited a bunch of current cheeseball directors to interview for a movie/commercial that the govt wanted to make. It was just an excuse to ridicule the current crop of hacks, and his was great. He was spitting all over himself about how he wanted to blow everything up. The Mel Gibson one was better, but that's only because he's an even bigger lunatic.

PS - I dont hate effects movies. The EMP in the opening attack sequence was badass. Also, the Warthogs and the chopper attacking that scorpion thing was badass. Unfortunately, not much else was.

 

Yeah - I just looked at his list of movies, and out of all of them, Transformers was the one I liked the BEST. And that ain't saying much.