Since I can't bump this thread

http://www.thisboardrocks.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=8887

It was a good one. And since he reared his head on Mag's board, I just wanted a stroll down memory lane.

 

Oh my god.

Collins World

With all the trimmings.

 

LMAO- -a story he wrote about himself.

"What about Collin?" asked Major Anderson. "What about him?" replied Graff. "You've read the report, you know as much as I do." "I know what the report says Graff, I want to know what you think."

"The report isn't wrong. The boy is highly intelligent, but not as high as some others. He's also a loner, refusing to make friends with more than a few students in Battle School, and remains very unpopular among most of the populace."

Major Anderson asked "Why is that?" as he flipped through the twenty page file.

"It's a bit difficult to explain. Dap nicknamed him 'Teacher', which is certainly appropriate. Most of his fellow students just call him 'Asshole,' also deserved." Graff leaned back in his chair, stubby fingers rubbing at his face. "He's an interesting case, most definitely."

"Why the differences?"

Graff paused a moment before answering. "Collin seems to take it upon himself to correct his fellow students. They see it as arrogance, and resent him for it. I don't necessarily agree."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he doesn't seem to take any pleasure in correcting others. In fact he seems to react out of frustration, as if he lost patience with their inability to see their mistakes."

"That sounds like a problem." Anderson eyed Graff intently, awaiting his answer.

"Well, it is. While we have isolated Ender and Bean, Collin has isolated himself. He doesn't bother gathering supporters, doesn't seem to care whether or not he creates enemies, and I can't identify any fear of the repercussions for his behavior."

"So he's a lost cause?"

Graff paused again, seemingly considering how he should respond. "He's not a lost cause, I just don't believe he's right for this particular project."

Major Anderson glanced over the file again, a frown creasing his face. "So what can we do with him?"

"I don't know. The boy is highly talented. He makes up for the deficiencies in intelligence with an uncanny ability to discern patterns from limited information. It's really startling at times, and his leaps of intuition sometimes rival what Bean and Ender can do with their superior intellect."

"You know who you're describing, don't you?"

Graff looked puzzled. "I'm afraid I don't follow."

"You just gave me the profile for Mazer Rackham." Major Anderson watched Graff's response, suspecting that emphasizing those similarities had been his intention all along. For once he actually seemed interested in what Graff had to say. With Ender and Bean, there just hadn't been enough time to focus on the other potentials, but now time was growing short and Ender's team had to be assembled for him. Tired of waiting for Graff to answer, Anderson prodded again, "I need to know Graff. Bean and the others are in, but we have questions about some. Petra in particular seems rather unreliable."

"I picked them for their connections with Ender. Some of the choices were clear, but I had to make due with the rest. It won't help if Ender has a brilliant subordinate that won't listen to him."

"So Collin doesn't get along with Ender?" At this point Anderson seemed curious. To that point he had thought there were only two types of people in regards to Ender, those that admired him, and those that resented him.

"Not so much that Major. Collin is just ... unusual. He rarely speaks to the others at all, in fact. He watches what Wiggin does, but what he's doing with that information I don't really know. He defers to him, but Collin doesn't exactly submit to anyone or anything."

"Mazer again," Anderson grumbled. "I have limited time Graff. Tell me something definitive, and tell me now."

"I can only tell you that he isn't right for this assignment. You may be right about the Mazer comparison for all I know, but we don't need a Mazer anymore. We need Ender, and he doesn't need Collin."

"I'll accept that for now Graff, but keep your eye on him anyway. We may need some of those children yet." With that Major Anderson left the room, seeming even more irritated than he had been when he walked in.

 

Collin was large for his age. It was one of those strange things that stuck in your mind, perhaps because it seemed so unnatural. Although there probably isn't a real correlation, it always seemed like the smart people were smaller and the big people were never quite so smart. Collin was though, and he seemed to have it all. He had looks, he was extremely athletic, and he had extraordinary intelligence. Those were precisely the qualities that had not only gotten him to Battle School, but made him excel there.

 

That's rich.

Collin seemed to be an omnitheist - everything was his saviour and yet he was in complete charge and grasp of everything. He recently made his way back to our board for the second time after I told him politely to stop being a prick to people almost a year ago - a thing which caused him to be terribly pouty at best, and publicly, because privately he decided eventually to ignore me after I replied to his messages and eventually told me that harm would come of me if I kept messaging him, which is just the funniest thing ever - and after people didn't take to his immediate insulting of them for being "lesser' than him or whatever he feels, he pouted again saying that they didn't know what it was like to be superoir in intelligence, Basically he sold himself as a tortured soul (and spent some time telling us why he was superoir to us mere mortals) and it was all very much so in fun for the rest of us.

I loved your reply to him: "Sweet. That was a fun read. classic."

So to preface meat's all-too-good reply, this is the end of what Collin wrote pissily to make yet another elaborate and dramatic exit from my board:

>>>>Just a friendly thought, that's all.

>>I assume you know where you can put your friendly thought. You guys will never know the frustration of having vastly superior intelligence. Jeez. Your response just utterly blows my mind. I just can't win. And please God don't respond to this. I have no interest in anything you have to say, and I'd rather not depend on my willpower to stop responding. The very fact that you guys would rather believe in the illusion that you're smart and nice instead of being educated is all the reminder I need for why I need to go. <<

 

He should spend some more time at Battle School.

 

I just want to end with this first article from his geeky squarepedia forum - this of course says it all from the self-proclaimed 24 year old virgin, now assumedly nearing 25.

"Whether it’s a nipple here, a flash of panties there, or giant bouncing breasts falling out of a fur-lined top, there seems to be an increased degree of sexuality in video games lately."

 

Yeah, I'm glad he' not here. Much more fun to talk shit about him when he's at a safe distance. More trouble than it's worth when he's here.

 

i WISH He was here...Quality entertaiment

 

He's been pretty tied up with his studies in Battle School. Maybe Major Anderson will grant him a pass to come educate us.