Sexually excited about geometry (or getting off on a tangent)

At the time, yes. I was a bible thumping, holy roller. My whole life was church, witnessing, bible study. I started teaching youth groups at church. I used to get up at different churches and give my testimony. ( I used to be a hell raiser, and chuch people like the "Hell Raiser turns to Christ" stories). I helped lead many, many people to Christ. Witnessing was something I really enjoyed doing, and I did it every day.

 

A lot of churches do. But these same churches don't like women to wear pants either. Churches vary. The last church I went to didn't have "Preach'n", they had Christian Rock 'N' Roll playing for 2 hours.

 

So what happened to cause you to change your mind?

 

Time. Nothing I can put a finger on. It took years. I went from Christian, to Carnal Christian, to Agnostic, to Atheist. I didn't hit Atheist until about 2 years ago or so.

 

It sounds like you were genuine in your salvation. To me you are still a christian, just one who has backslid. I am curious, did you ever feel like Jesus was in your heart? Did you ever have that feeling that you really could not explain but was very real to you, something beyond just emotion? When I have doubts that is the main thing that keeps me believing, that something inside that just tells me it is true.

 

Shortly after I was baptized, I had a dream. It was one of those half-awake half-asleep vivid dreams that you think is real. Satan was standing at the foot of my bed and a hoard of demons circled me. Satan didn't look like the red horned imp as pictured in popular fiction. It was more like "Nothing" in the shape of a man. Sorta like a dark hole. Satan started chanting something I didn't understand and the demons started screaming and shaking the bed. I felt like I had a ton of bricks laying on me and I could not move. This lasted for a very long time, then I shouted something like "Jesus save me!!!", Satan and the demons disappeared and I woke up. Now I know it wasn't real, just my subconscious playing through the "garbage" built up in my mind. But the point of this whole story is I did believe at one time, to the point that even my subconscious believed. And if you know anything about how the mind works, then you know that was total belief.

 

Was that your salvation experience or was there another time? That does not sound like you were aware of what you were doing at the time, more like just waking from a bad dream.

 

I don't know what a "Salvation Experience" is. If you mean sitting around, glassy eyed, with a silly smile on my face basking in the knowledge that I was saved, then sure, I had quite a few of those.

I know it's hard for a christian to imagine that someone could just stop believing after being saved, but it happens quite a lot. At one point in my life I truly, honestly, with all my heart, mind, and soul, believed that there was a Santa Claus. That didn't take either.

 

Was there a time you actually prayed the "sinners prayer". Did you ever tell God that you were a sinner and ask forgiveness? Saying "Jesus Save Me" is not the same thing as getting saved.

 

Yes, yes, yes. Right after I got out of boot camp I did one of those "God give me a sign" prayers. When I got to my Navy school my roommate turned out to be a holy rolling bible thumper. He was my roomie for a little over a year. He taught me for about two months or so before I accepted Christ.