Panthers vs Seahawks Running Commentary

This game is going to come down to which team has the better, more deserving fans. The Seattle fanbase is richer, better looking, and more passionate. I'm pretty sure Jesus is rooting for the Seahawks.

 

Basically, we are playing Russell Wilson with the practice squad. If we win today, I'm thinking the Panthers can join the Lingerie League. I'm sure Cam will have outfits for everyone.

 

Carolina employed a female assistant coach during training camp, and they have a player who protests the anthem. Jesus may be on your side, but we have have Wokeness on ours. It's a Holy War.

 

Seattle should win, but it becomes interesting if the Panthers can grab any sort of early lead. Even with Russell Wilson's magic tricks, the Seahawks are not built to play from behind, and one thing Carolina does extremely well is rush the passer.

 

It's a Holey War, all right. Just like your secondary.

 

Eric Reid is an elite player. If you disagree, it's because you're a white supremacist.

 

If it comes down to a 4th quarter shootout, I'll put my money on Russell Wilson vs whatever QB you guys start today. But more importantly, this game is about which team and fanbase is culturally superior...at least if we win.

 

Wilson throwing a game ending interception would be an amazing twist by the show writers.

 

Apparently it's Seattle East so far here at BOA

 

Lots of tech bros, hot professional asian chicks, and homeless people with needles hanging out of their arms?