lard

i hear its making a comeback.

 

Sly makes a great lard, yam sammich.

 

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I love lard. Kidding. The best cooking oil that you can use is actually coconut oil. It is even healthier than extra virgin olive oil. It sounded gross to me at first too, but after I tried it I couldn't even tell a difference from any other oil. I mean oil is oil whether it comes from a coconut or your face, this stuff is just better for your body. Check it out: http://www.jigsawhealth.com/products/virgin_organic_coconut_oil.html.

 

my friend Gerald dobs bacon drippings on his head and then combs his hair down real slick. sometimes, when the wind is right, the neighborhood dogs appear at his door. he also employs a trick where he rubs finish nails on the side of his nose to get them to sink into the wood without bending. this works well but leaves a dark stain on both sides of his nose. we can always tell when Gerald has been hard at it. i'll tell him about your website and ask him to pm you for directions to your house. i'm sure you two would hit it off really well. Gerald likes baseball, ant farms, toenail cheese and team parcheesi. he and his wife, Ona Mae, are great friends of ours. Ona Mae has had some dental work done lately and you can barely tell where the credenza fell on her face that night. she loves to tell the story but Gerald gets all misty. he didnt mean to push it all the way over on top of her after he slapped her silly and she fell to the floor for what seemed like hours. it was a sad misunderstanding and all is forgiven. they are the best team parcheesi players on our street. but dont try to drink liquor with them, you wont stand a chance. Gerald can wash down a ham biscuit with a quart of shine and you cant tell the difference. i swear, Ona Mae is almost as good but she cant seem to put the snuff down long enough to enjoy a good swig. tube rose is her brand and she has a damn fine collection of snuff glasses and travel spitoons. she'll talk a hole in your head at just the mention of her prized spit cups. heh, you're gonna hit it off fine. i can tell. i have this ability to read folks' tendancies and preferences. you seem like a nice person. how about lets all get together down at the Sizzler this weekend? we can talk about your buisiness ventures and maybe do some door-to-door stuff in your neighborhood. i think its a good idea brother. nice talking to you but i dont have all day. bye.