Honesty is the best policy . . .

but is it really?

Is being honest the same as always telling the truth? Not hiding things? Being totally candid?

I wrote a short story about this issue once, & it was clearer to me then that it is now.

What say ye?

 

Yes, and no.

I believe truth is always better than a lie, but I also believe there are ways to convey truth that are loving, and ways that are just as damaging and vindictive as a lie, and often even more hurtful.

I told my small group recently that we should handle truth like a scalpel or a loaded gun. Used in the right way, they can be useful. Used in the wrong way, destruction, pain, and death often result.

 

I agree with you as far as that goes. And I think there are times when you should just keep your mouth shut

Is lying or misleading ever justified? To protect someone's feelings if there is no benefit to being completely truthful? To protect yourself in some essential way? And if it's ever justified, does it matter whether it's fact or opinion you're not being completely honest about?

I remember covering these types of questions in Philosophy in college, & of course there are never any clear answers. I got an A in that class because I was able to argue both sides of the question

 

so if your wife ask, "does this dress make me look fat?", do you lie or tell the truth?

 

Thats easy...you say NOOOOO.

I mean if she's fat, she's fat. Dresses don't MAKE you LOOK fat! So your telling the truth!

However, if she says "Do I look fat" Your on your own!

 

I used to think that if I couldn't be completely truthful about something, I should not say anything at all. That a lie or a misleading statement was always wrong, except in the direst of circumstances to protect someone--maybe. Of course I didn't live up to this ideal, but I always believed I should.

I still think that honesty is extremely important, but I'm beginning to think that misleading & even lying can be justified in more circumstances than I previously believed.

For instance, in a job interview, saying "I enjoy retail & am great at it," which is true; but deliberately concealing the fact that I'm very interested in going into another field, & would actively look into it, even if I'm hired.

Or falsifying opinions in those stupid damn "psychological surveys" a lot of companies do when it's obvious that answering the question honestly would automatically eliminate me from consideration. Like, "Yes, I think this is none of the employer's business."

Other situations too, besides work-related; but since I'm currently job-hunting, those come to mind first.

In an ideal world total honesty would work. But we're dealing with human beings here--unreasonable creatures

 

So! are you saying your wife is fat but you agree that you shouldn't tell her that? just askin. :imagestor

 

It's not that difficult to build a solid argument in favor of a lie, especially when truth comes with a price. Generally speaking, justification tends to be a very subjective thing, wouldn't you agree?

I totally agree. Any time there are people involved, there will almost always be half-truths, disceptions, and outright lies to filter through and work around, mainly because people in general tend to look out for their own interests first, rather than succumbing to a higher form of accountable morality. Even so, I still think the question of whether or not that reality makes 'bending the truth' justifiable is answered by the individual and is subject to change, depending on the circumstances.

 

I think my wife is beautiful.