Good news for the single guys

Gaywatch: Roseanne, the reality show


by: Christine Champagne
July 30, 2003

Roseanne Barr is coming back to TV. It isn't because she needs the money, by the way. "I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah," she quipped during a recent appearance at the Television Critics Association press tour in Hollywood.
So why return to the tube? The self-proclaimed exhibitionist misses the limelight. For a while, she was so hot she went by just her first name, but her star fell so far after her hit sitcom "Roseanne" went off the air in 1997 that she had to go back to using her last name. One particular airport incident finally made her decide that Roseanne alone wasn't enough any more. "I was in Paris, and they detained me for several hours and asked me why I only had one name and who I was, and I was screaming, 'I'm a huge star!'" Barr recalls. "So then I saw this American, and I go, 'Could you tell these people who I am?' He goes, 'It's Rosie O'Donnell.'"

Well, I hope people will stop confusing Roseanne for Rosie when "The Real Roseanne Show" premieres on ABC with two back-to-back episodes on Wednesday, August 6, from 9 to 10 p.m. EDT. Produced by documentary filmmaker R.J. Cutler ("American High" and Showtime's upcoming "Freshman Diaries"), this reality series chronicles the making of Barr's new cooking show.

Titled "Domestic Goddess," that program will premiere on ABC the Family cable channel in September; however, as you'll see in the first episode of "The Real Roseanne Show," it's a wonder that "Domestic Goddess" ever got off the ground. Barr relies on an incapable assortment of people to help her create the show, including her lazy son Jake and her equally lazy son-in-law Jeff, both of whom she names producers. Other people with input include Barr's ex-husband Bill, who toils as her handyman; Bill's current wife Becky, who works as Barr's assistant; and Barr's boyfriend Johnny, a guy she met on the Internet. Sandra Bernhard pops up briefly in the show's second episode -- during which we also meet Barr's rabbi.


Yes, Barr has found religion, so to speak. We learn the hot-tempered diva -- famous for firing writers on "Roseanne" -- has been on a spiritual quest the last few years, consulting with rabbis and others in an attempt to become a better person. "When I leave the earth, I'd like not to go to hell," she says.

Given this lofty mission, it is entertaining to watch Barr desperately try to keep from losing her famous temper on "The Real Roseanne Show." (To be fair to Barr, the people around her sometimes give her plenty of reason to do just that.) "My karmic mission is to get through the process without snapping at anybody," she proclaims at one point.

Listening to Barr talk spirituality and consult her rabbi on the show, one can't help but compare her to Madonna. Does Barr see the parallels? "Yeah, I see the parallels," Barr says. "She does whatever I do two years later -- and shows her tits. And it works, but when I do it, I get, like, condemnation and trouble."

As you can tell, Barr hasn't lost her angry wit. Still, she has no interest in putting it to use on another sitcom. "It's too hard. I'm too damn old now," says the 50-year-old, who says a cooking show is more her pace.

Actually, Barr refers to "Domestic Goddess" not as a cooking show, but as an "eating show." Much lighter these days after undergoing gastric bypass surgery, Barr still loves to eat. "I have a walnut-sized stomach, so I can't eat that much -- although I have found that if I, like, keep up the frequency, I can keep my weight up at 160. So I eat maybe 10 times a day, and it's really working," she cracks.

"Domestic Goddess" will find her breaking bread with other celebrities. "I go over to people's houses, and they cook for me, and then I just eat their food," she explains. "Like, I went over to Phyllis Diller's house, and she cooked me dinner and, you know, we had a talk about life and death. And it's just fun like that. Food's a great equalizer between people. I like to go to different ethnic people's houses and eat their food and, like, thereby promote world peace."

Incidentally, if Barr's plan to reclaim her position as a TV star -- and promote world peace -- fails, she is open to trying her luck in movies. (Barr has only a few movie credits, including "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" and "Blue in the Face.") "I would definitely consider a feature film role," muses the actress, "and I would even do a nude scene if it was important to the plot."

 

My God Roseanne is HOTTTT.

I'm breaking in that new bottle of Jergens as I read this article.

 

What's funny, is that Tom Arnold's career is going better than Rosanne's right now.

 

Bitch bought the rights to make an American version of Absolutely Fabulous and never came through. She needs to give Jennifer Saunders back the rights and let her do it.

 

This woman needs to give it up. I'll be amazed if the show survives past a couple of episodes.