Classified Humor

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little
dog. Bites.

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FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky
neighbor's dog

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FREE PUPPIES: Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog

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GERMAN SHEPHERD: 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
Free.

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FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been
out awhile.
Better be a reward.

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COWS & CALVES NEVER BRED... Also 1 gay bull for sale

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NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby

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GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.

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NICE PARACHUTE: Never opened - used once

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JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer
$300

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FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia
Britannica. 45volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer
needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything

 

a couple more



a one man, seven woman hot tub. $1500.00 xxx-xxxx

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one used mattress. Slight urine stain. $50 xxx-xxxx

 

Last ones, I swear...



Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.

3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

For sale; and antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

Mr. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first

 

funny stuff

 

The Valley Hills Mall in Hickory used to have a shop with a sign outside that read:

"Ears pierced while you wait"