Can we talk about forgiveness?

that's it, i think my problem is...that i go by what "people" think forgiveness means. see, you always get some christian telling you, you have to forgive, give it to God and he will take away your pain. Then it's like some miracle is suppose to take place and it's suppose to be as if this never happened~ poof! your pain is gone. Then they want you to shut up about anything about the murder or about anything about your dad cause if you don't then you obviously haven't forgiven.

then you get those that think forgiveness means they aren't suppose to face their punishment here in this world. God does forgive sins but when you commit a sin you have to face the consequences of those sins.

i need to stop focusing on the world's view and start focusing on God's view and stop getting them mixed together.

 

it's actually a support group up here, they don't have a chapter in Roanoke ~:banginghe they do have a chat room but it's password protected only for members sorta like the coffeshop. Alot of them are in the middle of their cases (heck, your case never really ends unless your perp commits suicide or dies) and found they were being watched so they like the privacy plus the internet has a lot of weirdos that get off on the pain of others.

i mostly don't go to the chat, i mostly just have a few that i email back and forth with and yahoo with. i feel guilty cause i have been really really busy that i haven't gotten time for them but one lady i always make sure no matter what i respond to cause she is really needing support. her 18 year old son was murdered, he didn't even get to graduate from H.S. yet and she really has no support from anyone, she could, but they would rather ignore it, you know, not deal with it. this lady has no hope but i just want to show her that there is someone who cares.

I don't know JB, but I really admire the courage and openess he has shown in dealing with his pain. He shows a lot of intelligence and maturity for someone who is still very young.posted by WonderWoman

thank you wonderwoman

openness! this is the only way i know. now for courage, intelligence and maturity~ i dont know :imagestor

 

Thanks Paladin, i really do appreciate you sharing with me about your dad. yeah, it really does feel like a part of me died too and i am still carrying around the corpse of that part. my dad was stabbed in the heart and for almost a year i had an intense pain in my heart. Their were times that the pain from him being gone was almost unbearable too. do you ever wonder what it would be like if your dad was here today? alot of kids my age don't like their parents. well, you know, their parents get on their nerves. see, i only know my dad from when i was young so my dad was like my hero so sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i lost him now. see i know this 19 yr. old girl who was always fighting with her mom then her mom was murdered and she feels a lot of guilt but then i watch other kids with their parents and i think her fighting with her mom must be normal and it's really unfair for her to feel all this guilt. see..i think about alot of weird stuff.

well, you already know the pain of losing someone. pain is pain. it is just that murder throws in a lot of factors that other deaths don't. all of a sudden these 3 people who i never knew or know now are now a big part of my life. then people think you get "closure" when the murder is captured but this is not so. you spend years in the court systems, i know people who have spent 10 years and more, then there are ones who haven't even found their loved ones bodies or found the person who did this. then you have parole hearings and if families don't get involved then they think they don't care then they can be released to kill again. then there's ones who are related to the murdered and the murderer. talk about emotions being all over the place, man i can't even imagine the hell that is but that kind of murder happens far more than a stranger murdering.

i like your jello theory, i feel like jello that's under pressure all the time!

this i do plenty! i find myself in constant prayer, i even wake up in the middle of the night and i'm not even fully awake and i'll be praying to God.

 

yes hasbeens, i liked the way you broke that down, that was cool. and thanks for taking the time to do that. that has made me realize that i can't just read something or let someone say something to me and let it put doubt in my head and get me all confused. i need to check it out myself. i guess the more knowledge i get i'll be able to do that on my own.

 

If I can make a suggestion here, you might want to spend some time checking out Psalms. There are some passages in there that really reflect a heartfelt cry out to God for justice and even vengeance. It might help change your perspective on forgiveness and justice a little.

You know how in some cases there is a criminal trial and then later a civil trial? That's kind of the same issue here. A criminal has not only sinned against God, but he's also committed an offense against society. Both prices must be paid. Sometimes people get away with not paying society, but they can't get away from God's justice.

Does that make sense?