Breakdown.

so....i've pretty much changed everything around me and started new.....rededicated my life and have been doing very well......

last night my X calls while I'm disciplining my son......he was not listening to the person that drives him to and from school.....so i turned off the tv and video games for the night and told him to do something constructive in his room.....the phone rings and he is talking to her......next thing i know he tells her he is having trouble and she tells him to move up North with her.....he tells her he will pray about it.....

well she wants to talk to me.....she tells me he is moving.....i tell her he is having a bad day and that's not the solution.....he can't move when things don't go his way.....so she starts threatening me.....next thing I know...

4 or 5 major cuss words come flying out my mouth......i'm terribly embarrised and now she has me going and she is getting the better of me......so i hang up and me and the boy talk....we work out the issues and he apologizes....

it is very hard for me to stop with the cussing....i have been very conscious of it and made big strides the last month, but things still fly out my mouth.....

how can I stop it?

 

Keep doing what you're doing.

Being aware of the problem arms you against it. It's when you lose that awareness that you slip, and that goes with any struggle (I speak from long experience here). And the fact that you feel the spiritual conviction of it says good things about your faith.

Your ex is still a very raw nerve, especially with your son being involved. That's a very tough situation to be in -- I lived it when I was 13.

If you do slip, clear your conscience by asking for and receiving God's forgiveness. The spiritual truth is that you already have it, but the act of confessing it clears the air between you and God, and strengthens your faith relationship with Him. Just keep picking yourself up and rededicating yourself to following His will. Over time, you'll have to do it less and less.

 

all habits are hard to break. That's all this is. It doesnt mean you're a bad father. You just have to stop sometimes when you feel it coming on and say, no. I'm not going to do it. Use the same ideas you're using to stop drinking.

 

It is like learning a foreign language. Substitute the bad words for something else. My Dad would try so hard not to swear he would say gibberish words instead. Pretty funny actually.

 

I actually sent her an email this AM apologizing.....I'm sure that will backfire on me....but I feel better about it.

 

I think that was exactly the right thing to do. Well done, riddel.

 

I have a sailor's mouth too.. i'm working on it too.

 

You're werd. .

 

Good show, riddel. You can control your own behavior, but not how other people respond. That's their problem.

 

Sounds like she intentionally provoked you, so in that kind of situation the best option is to distance yourself from the provocation until you can cool down. If you feel yourself getting upset, tell her you'll call her back and then wait to talk more until you feel yourself being less tense. I also completely agree with you about him just using the threat as a means of exerting power over you to avoid discipline, but I can't think of a good way to combat that without your ex's cooperation. Anyway, I sincerely wish you the best of luck.