Marriage and Money

that is what we do. our checks go into a joint checking account for the usual living expenses but we both put some back into separate money markets for whatever.

and id like to remind QC that all people are different. some argue over money and some dont. seldom have we did this. but there usually seems to be one good (or better) money manager in the household. it comes down to who you are and who she is and how yall work through things together. giving advice on politics, religion, and marriage can be tricky so i'll stop right there. i'll throw raising kids in there too. you're a good kid and i hope the best for you and the lucky lady.

 

I'm getting married in June. We've decided on having a joint savings/checking account and each of us will have our own checking account.

She's going to pay the bills since she's better managing the $$$ but I still want to be able to have my own account.

 

Simple. Give her the bills and the check book. Just look for the signs. Like be on stand by look for warning signs. New dress, new shoe and eating a lot of sandwiches. Remember either way she gets half!!!!!!! Love is blind.

 

She's the cheapest person I ever met. I'm the one who needs to be watched. I buy gadgets all the time.

She's sitting me down and teaching me how to budget.

 

Tried this 3 different ways and have mixed emotions on all 3.


1st wife was a shared checking account and she managed the checks, but I still had a debit card which presented major problems. We were dirt poor out of college, but we developed a decent budget and learned how to run up student loans and credit cards very well.

2nd wife was two joint checkng accounts and two joint savings accounts. She had a 401K too. I would drop a set amount into her checking account that basically paid all the major bills every week and she would have the bills directly paid online. We always had left over money, lot's of left over money to spend and we had set savings deposits that worked like 401K were we never saw the money. This would have been great if the bitch was not so selfish. She wouldn't spend a dime of her money on anyone but herself. In the end it would have been a very clean split if she would have played fairly, but because all the accounts were joint, she cleaned me out in the end.

3rd relationship I have my account and she has hers. Neither of us have access to eithers accounts. She give me a set amount of money a month. I have the budget and she knows nothing about it. I buy all meat and bulk grocery's (5 kids=very expensive) and she buys all day to day groceries (milk, bread, vegetables and such) This has worked well so far. She is very good at saving money and finding money in my pants pockets while doing laundry. She does a great job at holidays. She always has money stashed away for gifts. I've never received such great gifts. She searches until she finds the best price on stuff and she has actually taught me to turn over every rock before I purchase something. We have 0 credit cards and live directly off our earnings. I have a 401K for savings and that's pretty much all the savings we have that I know of, which is a bit scary.

I really don't know what the right way to do this is. What I have figured out is you need to do what is comfortable for the women. I learned that if you do it your way and it fails, she will be so far up your ass and you will never live it down. Always figure out what she wants and make it work as long as she doesn't want it all.

 

QCH, take Sly's advice. He's absolutely right.

I do think it's important for each spouse to have their own monthly purely discretionary money. And it needs to be a decent amount. Will eliminate most of your problems right off the bat.

I've found that the money fights tend to be less about what is spent than why. Never expected that.

 

yep. Technically, you split what you bring in from day 1 of the marriage 50-50, and keep whatever you brought to the marriage initially. Just keep good records and don't re-title shit if you want to avoid a complete 50-50.

 

The amazing part of this thread is that the wives have jobs.

 

yeah.....I love them dilworth wives that have Carolina degrees hanging on their husband's office wall, while they change 3 or 4 kid's shitty diapers all day long.....

wonder if they had a clue when daddy was paying them to go to Carolina that they would soon be professional diaper changers.....

don't get me wrong...if you can afford to stay home when kids are under 4 then that's great and unless your wife makes REAL money, then she should not work. $600-800 a week for shitty child care is just stupid....so if she isn't clearing $50,000 and moving towards advancement in a career, then she mine as well stay home and save the childcare money.

Carolina needs to start a child care class though, because most of the Dilworth mommies I met while designing their new million dollar homes, didn't have a clue about raising a baby....i swear trailer park redneck or ghetto stank mothers know more than most of these silver spoon Carolina grads know.

 

wtf?